Got into a 8,000+ entrant freeroll earlier today, and was down to 220 people with about 50,000 in chips. I was 2nd in chips at the table by about 1,000 chips. Basically, the reason I was gaining so many chips is because everyone up to that point was SO predictable that I couldn't lose. I knew when to lay down (often) and when to call. Essentially, most of the players in this thing would bet small when they had something, and HUGE when they had mediocre holdings that more than likely wouldn't win at showdown. It was sick.

So, I'm going along great, and I get KK, but I have to show something to someone on my PC at the same time. I raise 4xbb from EP w/KK in the 1k-2k blinds, and get three callers. Nothing out of the ordinary thus far.

The flop is A64 with two diamonds on the flop. I think it is important for our discussion to say whether or not the A was a diamond (it changes strategies) but honestly I don't remember, and it's late as I write this.

Anyhow, they didn't bet it. I felt with two diamonds, someone would protect their ace, and at least get the others to pay a little bit (at least) to draw. The turn wasn't a diamond, and I bet big, and the other two players went all in. This was for so much of my stack that if I had any inclination whatsoever that one of them could possibly have an ace, I should just lay down immediately, and move on. I had only gave up about 10k in chips, and was doing fine.

Instead, I'm distracted, and I reason that they would have bet the ace on the flop, and I call. Of course, one of them flips over AQ (no bet on the flop?), and the other had something like A3. So, they had the ace, and I lose such a significant amount of my stack that I"m on tilt, and bust out about three hands later, and I was ready to go anyhow.

Which brings me to this....there couldn't be anything in poker more important, and more difficult to attain than having complete control of your emotions at all times. I can play emotionally, but not well, and mostly, I love horribly when I play emotionally. I had a chance, even after my loss of chips, to come back. There's no reason to think otherwise. But, I gave up, and was on tilt, and that was it.

I had to deposit twice already. About 20.00 each time, and that's sick. My run without depositing ended at about three months months long. But, hey, it's longer than any run I had for any previous run, so it's a start.

I'm good emotionally right now, and could probably play, but i'm not going to play tired. Instead, I'm going to play a crapload this weekend. I'll probably switch to playing the 4.40 180 man touraments almost exlusively. I'm getting so much better at playing larger tournaments.